Tidal
As a freelancer, I'm used to the ebbs and flows that come with work. It seems that jobs have a tendency to all come in a big wave, then it will go quiet for a while. I'm sure there are things I can do to mitigate that and spread it out more evenly, but out of laziness or lack of concern, I've opted to just get used to it. I've worked this way for nearly 20 years now, and I've learned to enjoy it. Riding the wave is a thrill, and the downtime usually is a nice reprieve.
But there seems to be some of these tides in life that exist more subtly than what I've mentioned so far. Yesterday was great, and you feel on a roll. But today, things are just... off. Nothing really happened, but you recognize a shift. It's not any one thing, and maybe not all the little things. Sure, maybe you just didn't get enough sleep. Or maybe it's what you ate. Maybe it's the energy in the room. Maybe you're just thinking about it too much.
Or maybe, there are just these invisible currents that we get swept into. Not every day can be great, and not every day can be terrible. Both internal and external things move the barometer of our comfort and contentment in life. When do these shifts happen, what causes them, and why must they happen?
I listened to a podcast with Arthur C Brooks, an expert on happiness, and he has some very interesting insight into what makes us happy, as well as what happiness actually is. He says that happiness is not an emotion, but rather, the emotion we get from happiness is simply evidence that happiness is present - similar to how smelling dinner on the stove is evidence that dinner is cooking. He also talked about how negative emotions are vital to our wellbeing and growth. So much of what we define as happiness can actually be controlled within ourselves.
We can collect tools and practice techniques to minimize our discomfort when negative things arise, but in the end, what I find interesting is that there will still always be bad days. There is no arriving at a destination. No retirement from the work. No magic sequence.
I struggled towards the end of last week. I've been doing all the right things, taking care of myself, and generally feeling like I was on a positive path. But suddenly, out of nowhere, the tide came in and knocked me off my feet. There was nothing to blame or really put my finger on. We can't control these tides in our lives any more than we can control the tides of the ocean. I suppose, all we can do is learn to be the beach. Always learning.
